NOTE: Beacuse Left 4 Dead 2 technically has no script just a random phrase or quote said now or then, this technically isn't a transcript, but a list of assorted quotes used only in that certain campaign.
ALSO: This is DLC only campaign.
- [ In The Passing promo ad. In response to Rochelle saying she hates stairs ] "Oh my God! You hate stuff too?"
- [ In The Passing promo ad. In response to Rochelle saying she hates Fancis's vest ] "What now? Ugh, I dont think this is gonna work out."
- [ When asked to lower the bridge ] "I don't know. We lost a good man trying to get this bridge up. I don't feel right about putting it back down."
- [ In response to Nick asking to lower the bridge ] "Go to Hell, suit."
- "Bite me, Colonel Sanders."
- "Hey! Nice ride!"
- "Generator's out. Get to the other side and we'll help you get this thing down!"
- "You down there, be calm. We're cops."
- "Is there any four of you who isn't an asshole?"
- "Look, I don't love this bridge. But we just lost a man and… Sorry brother, but you are on your own."
- "Brother, I don't love this bridge, but right now we just lost a man and got a man down. Sorry, you are on your own."
- "Hello, Rochellllle. A beautiful name for a beautiful lady. This your dad?"
- "Rochelle, you and your dad need to get down there and fill up the generator. Do that and we can lower the bridge."
- "Yeah, that's Louis. I wouldn't get too attached to him, he'll probably be dead soon. I'm Francis."
- "If you want to keep going this way, you gonna have to walk to the other side of this bridge, and then me and some ugh other cops up here can help you lower the bridge."
- "Man, is that really Jimmy Gibbs's car?"
- Ellis: "Yeah it is!"
- Francis: "How she handle?"
- Ellis: "Pulls a little to the left."
- Francis: "[Laughs] Honestly, I'm more of a bike man myself."
- Ellis: "Really? Yeah what you riding now?"
- Zoey: "Hey, car guys! Now's not the time! We got a bridge to lower."
- "Hey! Alright. While you guys were gone, I came up with a plan. To do this quicker, we should break up into teams. Guys, you're shirts. Everybody else, skins...Now let's go!"
- [ Attempting to compliment Rochelle ] "Hey Rochelle. De-peck Mode. I love that guy!"
- "Sure, I'll help *YOU*."
- Francis: "Hey! I didn't think a fancy ass like you would survive something like that."
Nick: "Thats funny...because I knew YOUR lazy ass would still be here."
Francis: "Yeah well....at least I dont have a turd on my suit".
Nick: "...I put it there".
- "WITCH! Oh sorry, got confused by all your crying."
- "Cry your way over to the elevator and then sob your way down to the generator, fill it up with your tears and we'll take care of the rest."
- "Take the elevator down to the generator. Don't cry on it though, it's electrical!"
- Zoey: "Man, I'm gonna miss Ellis."
- Francis: "Yeah, me too!"
- [Spoken two different ways] "Don't just stand there, haul ass!"
- "Hey Ellis! I hate your hat, haha!"
- "Y'know, they were alright."
- "I love that car."
- "Look at that car go!"
- "Nick! Good luck, my brother."
- "Goodbye Ro! Ugh... My lovely little angel."
- "Bye Ro... I love you!" (May alternately sob 'I love you' soon after.)
- "I hate goodbyes."
- "I really am a cop, y'know!"
- "You're right, Francis. He's not friendly. I think Bill would have shot him by now."
Francis: Look!....... We lost a good man bringing this Bridge up, & we can't get the generator running 'till Louis is back on his feet!"
Louis: "Francis!, We talked About this!, We are gonna Help them!"
'Louis': I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see some normal people again.
Zoey: Don't worry, they won't be the last.
- [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss those guys."
- [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I'm gonna miss them. It was nice to see some other normal people for once...except that Nick guy."
- [ As the new Survivors are leaving ] "I think we're gonna see more of that guy."
Zoey: "Where? At the mall?
- "Bye Coach! Keep it positive!"
- I know your gonna make it to New Orleans, Ellis! Go, Ellis, go!"
- "I got a good feeling about them...I think they're gonna be ok!"
- "Bye Coach! Bye Ro! Bye Ellis! Bye...what's your name."
- "Man, I feel like I'm Gordon Freeman!"
- "I heard there's a military base just south of here."
- "Zombies are driving trucks?"
- [ After killing a Tank, said two different ways ] "That...is for Bill!"
- [ In response to Ellis asking to lower the bridge ] "Well...No."
Ellis: "Oh, do we, uhh...We need to know some sort of password or something?
Zoey: "Uh, no... Generator is out of gas. If you get over to the other side and fill it up, we can cover you. Best I can offer."
- Zoey: "Sorry! But we can't lower the bridge. You're gonna need to get to the other side of the bridge, we can help you then. And then once you get over here we can fill up the generator. The generator will make a lot of noise, but don't worry Ellis, we can cover you from up here. You got all that?"
Rochelle: "Say something to the lady, Ellis."
Ellis: "She is so beautiful...She is so beautiful."
Rochelle: "He got it!"
- "Sorry. I can't lower the bridge."
Nick: "That's terrific, cupcake. Look, is there a man up there we can talk to?"
Zoey: "Oh boo-hoo, I don't know what to do. Go to Hell, Colonel Sanders!"
- [ Mimicking Ellis ] "I ever tell you 'bout the time my buddy Ellis stole a race car from the mall and drove it over some zombies?"
- Francis: No. I haven't heard that one.
- Louis: You think we should have told them?
- Zoey: Nah, its hard enough out there.
- "You finally did it. You maniacs! You blew it up! Goddamn you! Goddamn you all to Hell!"
- "Remember, Soylent Green is people!"
- "Go, proclaim liberty throughout all the lands and to all the inhabitants thereof." (A slightly garbled quotation, originally from the Old Testament, Leviticus 25:10, "proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof" [KJV]. This passage is inscribed on the Liberty Bell, and also found on a plaque inside the Statue of Liberty.)
- "Ellis! ELLIS!... Maybe he should have come with us?"
- "Ellis! ELLIS!... Maybe we should have gone with him?"
- "Get to your car, Ellis!"
- "Ellis, the car's callin'."
- [ Mimicking Ellis ] "Y'all come back now!"
- "Ellis, be careful!"
- "...Hm. I'm going to miss Ellis."
- "Yeah, for about ten minutes."
- "Hey, car guys! We have a bridge to lower!"
- "Hello! Morons! I think we have a bridge to lower!"
- "Good luck!"
- [ As the Left 4 Dead 2 Survivors leave ] "Bye Ellis, bye Rochelle, bye Coach, bye Nick!"
- "Bye Ellis, bye Rochelle, bye Coach, (begrudgingly) bye Nick!"
- "Yeah...but it's us three now."
- "Don't worry...they won't be the last."
- "Hm, Francis. It's nice to see you still have that in you."
- "Anyone see the wedding cake?"
Nick: "Coach, no time for cake." [Alternate Line] Ellis: "No, but if I do, I'll holler."
- [ In response to Nick saying he's seen a bride like this before ] "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
- "Dear Lord, why did I ever leave Savannah?"
- [ During The Wedding ] Damn! This wedding didn't end well!"
- [ When scouting the wedding area ] "Bride, wedding, there's gotta be a cake here somewhere..."
- [ Upon seeing the tent with guns ] "Guns in the tent! Dang, but no cake!"
- [ After startling the bride Witch ] "Ugly bride's chasing me! Ugly bride's chasing me!"
- [ When Ellis is having trouble speaking to Zoey ] "You been killing zombies for the better part of two days, boy. You can talk to a girl."
Zoey: "You're going to need to get to the other side of the bridge, we can help you there."
"Ok, the boy says thank you."
- [ Upon seeing the Midnight Riders' bus ] "Man, I think I just saw...nah."
- [ Teasing Nick in the Sewer ] "Hey Nick, try and keep your head above water. Don't trip, Nick [Laughs]."
- "Nick...If I give you a piggy back ride, will you shut up about the sewer?"
- "Nick, man...face it...we are walking through shit."
- "I must be dreaming."
- "Easy now... Don't be playin' on this board."
- [Singing] "...suitcase filled with pistols and money"
- [ In response to Ellis beginning a story because Rochelle accidentally encouraged it ] "I swear, you let your guard down for one second we all pay the price."
- [ Going down the elevator ] "Ellis, keep your mind on the cans, not the girl."
- [ Going down the elevator ] "Alright, no playing around. Get the gas cans and go!"
- [ After Louis makes a kill ] "Louis in the house."
[ Intro with Zoey ]
- "Ho man, that was the prettiest lady I've ever seen."
- "Man oh man, I jumped Jimmy Gibbs's car through a plate glass window, and I just met the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Nick, shoot me now, brother. Day's never gonna get any better than this."
- "She is so beautiful...she is so beautiful."
- "Look at her; she is an an-gel."
- "Well hello! Heh..hello... He-howdy, uhh, beautiful weather, huh?... We're having a, uhh... Hubba. Oh God, I'm too nervous to talk to her man, one of you better do this."
[ Intro with Francis ]
- Ellis: "Oh man, I know! That's what I've been saying. If there is zombies, there have got to be vampires, wolfmen, mummies, aliens...all that shit, man. It just makes sense!"
- Francis: "That's what I've been saying!"
- "Ummm, maybe I'll wait here and keep an eye on my car."
- "I normally like weddings. This is just weird."
- "Oh man. You think she's cryin' cause she got left at the altar?".
- "Coach...can coaches marry people?"
- "Okay, as far as weddings go, that was the most exciting."
- "You know what? This got me thinkin'. I should totally marry that girl."
- "This reminds me, I should totally marry that girl."
- Rochelle: "Is that really how your brain works?"
- "This wedding here, I'm taking it as a sign."
[ When the Bride Witch attacks ]
- "Oh man, I changed my mind! I do-not-want to get married!"
- "Runaway bride! Runaway bride!"
- "Help here! Here comes the bride!"
[ When the Bride Witch is slain ]
- "I kinda feel bad for killin' this Witch. The whole thing just makes me feel uncomfortable."
- Ellis: "Man, I keep hopin' we drive somewhere that's not zombie infested."
- Rochelle: "I keep hoping I wake up from this nightmare."
- Coach: "Man, I keep hopin' we find an open Burger Tank."
- Nick: "Whatever."
- "Man, if you'd a' told me a year ago that I'd be driving Jimmy Gibbs Jr.'s stock car, I would not have believed it. I mean, that is just beyond, man!"
- Rochelle: "And what about the zombie apocalypse?"
- Ellis: "Nah, I seen my share of horror movies."
- "Just a car? Just a car!? That's like saying the Mona Lisa is just a sculpture or shit, man, that's like saying Jimmy Gibbs is just a driver, that's like saying the girl on the bridge is just a little purty - she is an AN-GEL."
- "Hey Rochelle, now don't spare my feelin's none... You think I got any shot with that Zoey girl?"
- "Oh man, that Zoey girl is never gonna go for a man like me."
- Ellis: Yeah, I was thinkin' of her too, Nick. Oh, she is beautiful.
- Nick: Yeah, agreed, she is totally out of your league.
- "Let's hurry, man. I miss my car."
- "I can almost feel her...I mean the car."
- "Nick, for the last time I am NOT leaving it behind."
- [ When seeing the Midnight Rider's bus ] "Oh man, I must be seein' things."
- "Wait, what?!"
- [ Entering the tattoo parlor ] "Hey Nick, you and me outta get tattoos that say 'bros'."
- "Oh man, I found a candy bar! ...Whup! False alarm!"
- "I know what it'll be a bad time to cross the plank right now; a Smoker."
- "Last one in is a rotten egg!"
- "CANNON BALL!"
- "Rochelle and biker dude sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
- Rochelle: "Ellis!"
- Ellis: "Hey! I saw the way you two looked at each other!"
- [ Seeing the tour admission fee sign ] "Should we leave some money?"
- [ Upon entering the sewer water ] "Nick, wasn't that suit supposed to be white?"
- Nick: "I hate you, Ellis!"
- Ellis: "Oh. Well, I still like you, Nick."
- Ellis: "Oh. Well, I still like you, Nick."
- [In response to Nick telling himself it's only a drainage sewer] "Don't smell like it."
- Nick: Ellis, I need this.
- "Don't know why...I was thinkin' there'd at least be a couple of rides in here."
- [ In the Safe Room ] "Hey Ro, I don't wanna get your hopes up, but I think that awesome biker guy has a crush on you."
- Rochelle: "Well, I think someone has a crush on that awesome biker guy..."
- Ellis: "I don't doubt it. That is a cool guy."
- "Mmhmm, I saw the way you two were looking at each other, maybe the four of us can go on a double date."
- "Don't remind me Nick. I am a nervous wreck over here."
- [Nick tells Ellis they're comign up on Zoey] "Ok, you know what? You don't need to remind me Nick, alright? I'm a nervous wreck over here."
- Nick: "What're you nervous about? You had your chance, and you didn't do shit. Now, you can watch Nick take care of business."
- "How do I look?"
- Nick: "Like you've been walking through a sewer."
- Ellis: "Well, you got a turd on your shoulder."
- Nick: "I'm not even gonna look."
- "Zoey, Zoey, Zoey, Zoey, Zoe - I can say that all day long. Zoey, Zoey, Zoey. Man, I just love saying it, really."
- "Man, I don't know. With the hat, or without it?"
- "Nick, I don't need that kind of pressure, man."
- "Ah nah, she ain't goin' no where, that ain't like her."
- "Yeah, it was like love at first sight. The other four seconds were gravy."
- "Ro, it's the zombie apocalypse. First datin' days are over. Nick, by the way, I'm gonna have to borrow your suit 'cause we're skippin' right to the marriage brother, then we're goin' cross country. Just her, me, and the Jimmy Gibbs Jr."
- Francis: Nice car.
- Ellis: Yeah, it used to belong to a little person named Jimmy Gibbs Jr. Maybe you heard of him?
- Francis: Really? You mean that car used to belong to the Taco Dog?
- Ellis: Yeah, yeah... Wait, what? Jimmy Gibbs Jr. was a legend.
- Francis: Yup, you got that right. That dog made some damn good tacos.
- Ellis: Can we not talk about dogs!?
- [Alternate] Francis: Really? How does she handle?
- Ellis: Pulls a little to the left.
- [Upon two Tanks inbound] "HOLY SHIT!!"
- "Man, I'm gonna kill so many zombies she's gonna have to love me."
- "I'm going to kill a Tank in her honor, then I'm gonna name it after her."
- "Oh man, I wish there was something I could give you back, Zoey."
- "A girl who can shoot? I am in love!"
- "Man, you tell me Zoey don't look good with that gun."
- "Umph! Tell me Zoey don't look good with that gun."
- "Tell me she don't look good with that gun."
- "Hey, nice shot, Zoey!"
- "Man, I hope that girl is gonna be alright. Man, I hope I didn't break her heart."
- "Man, I sure hope I get to see her again."
- "Hey thanks, Zoey! I won't forget you!"
- "Thanks Zoey...I will always remember you."
[ Returning to Jimmy Gibbs's stock car ] "I'm comin'! I'm so sorry I le-he-eft you!"
- [ At the beginning when talking to Francis ] "I'm telling you the last goddamn time: Lower the goddamn bridge, you greasy vest-wearing monkey."
Francis: "Ahhh go to Hell, suit. [Alternate Line] Bite me, Colonel Sanders "
[ When talking to Zoey ] "That's terrific, cupcake. Is there a man up there we can talk to?
Zoey: "Boohoo, I dont know what to do... Go to Hell, Colonel Sanders!"
Rochelle: "I can't believe you used to be a conartist."
Zoey: "I could shoot you where you stand."
Nick: "Hey, lighten up. Man no one can take a joke anymore."
- [ 'Upon seeing the wedding ] "Wedding music, and a crying woman left at the altar. This is bringing back some bad memories."
- "Ah christ, This is more depressing than zombies."
- [ When Coach is looking for the wedding cake ] "Coach, no time for cake."
- [ Upon seeing the Witch bride ] "Careful. I've seen a bride just like this before."
Coach: "Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo."
- [ Upon crowning a Witch bride ] "Honeymoon's over...bitch!"
- [Safe room] Coach: "You're not scared of one little germ, are you, Nick?"
Nick: "One germ nearly wiped out the entire human race, so YES!"
- [Upon entering the tattoo parlor] "Y'know, I've never done a color tattoo before..."
- "Who wants a tattoo
- "If anybody sees any hand sanitizer, let me know."
- Rochelle: [Laughs] "You're kidding right?"
- Nick: "Yeah, hahaha, a little more hand sanitizer and we wouldn't be in this mess."
- "I don't have a problem with leaving the car AND you behind. Okay Ellis?"
- "Let's hurry across the plank before a Smoker gets us."
- "Watch out for Chargers"
- [ Upon entering the sewers ] "Oh, this is some gross shit."
- [ After entering the water ] "It's just a storm sewer, it is just a STORM sewer..."
- Ellis: "Don't smell like one."
- Nick: "Ellis, I need this."
- Rochelle: "Hey Nick! Splash fight?"
- Nick: "DON'T YOU DARE!"
- "I am breathing shit air into my lungs. It is being absorbed into my bloodstream. I am literally full of shit."
- "Here's a pleasant thought: Any one of us gets pounced, we're going to be fully submerged in shit water."
- [ In response to Ellis' comment about his suit ] "I hate you, Ellis!"
Ellis: "Well, I still like you, Nick."
- [ During the Gauntlet Crescendo ] "Goddammit! Back into the shit water!"
- "Shit! Back in the toilet"
- "Back in the water."
- "Don't stop in the sewer!"
- [ Upon seeing the suitcase full of guns and money ] "I like the way this guy packs!" [Alternate Line] "Don't mind if I do."
- "From one con man to another: five bucks for this? I tip my hat to you, Rayford."
- "Five goddamn bucks for a tour under the river? Well played, Rayford...well played."
- "What did we just pay five bucks for?"
Nick: "Yeah a tunnel. I guess you're right Coach History is coming alive"
Coach: "Oh shut up Nick!"
- [ Upon see the 'Phase Two' sign ] "Phase Two - Does this even go through?" [Alternate Line] "Should we wait until they finish?"
- "I'll give a thousand dollars to whoever gives me a piggyback ride." [Note: the subtitles say "thousand dollars" but Nick says "thousand bucks"]
- "So...it's an antique basement... Fantastic."
- "Ellis, did you get that girl's name? 'Cause I can tattoo it on your ass. She'll like that."
- "I guess they'll help right? First we fill up Jimmy Gibbs' car with gas, now a generator. What next? Don't answer that, Ellis."
- [ While in the Safe Room ] "So we're about to see that girl again - what's her name, Zoey?"
- Ellis: "Okay, you know what? No need to remind me, Nick. I'm a nervous wreck over here."
- Nick: "What're you nervous about? You had your chance, and you didn't do shit. Now, you can watch Nick take care of business."
- Rochelle: "Nick, being one of the last two women alive, I can safely say at least half of the women in this world hate you." [Alternate Line] "Nick, you need to find a woman who hates herself. Then she'll love you." [Or] "Nick. Leave him alone."
- [ In response to Ellis asking how he looks ] "Like you ran through a sewer."
- Ellis: "Well, there's a turd on your shoulder."
- Nick: "I'm not even gonna look."
- [ In response to Louis killing something ] "You're a badass with that gun, Louis!"
- "Hey Louis, are you sure you don't wanna come with us? We can leave Ellis behind."
- [ When filling up the generator ] "Why is everything always empty?"
- "Why doesn't anything ever have enough gas in it!?"
- [' When meeting Francis for the second time ] Francis: "Never thought a fancy ass like you would have made it this far."
Nick: "That's funny, because I knew your lazy ass would still be here."
Francis: "Well at least I don't have a turd on my suit."
Nick: "Uh, yeah, I put it there."
(Alternate) Ellis: "Nick, I told you you had a turd on your shoulder."
- [ In response to Rochelle defending Ellis when Nick teases him about Zoey ] "What? I'm a handsome man."
- [Alternate Line] "A-B-C. Always Be Closing"(Taken from Alec Baldwin's speech in Glengarry Glen Ross)
- [Alternate Line]"What? I'm a closer."
- [ When Francis makes a kill ] "I owe you one, Francis."
- "Nice shot, Francis!"
- [ Encountering Zoey in the Intro ] Zoey: "Hello down there!"
Rochelle: "Oh, thank God! I thought I might be the last woman on Earth."
Zoey: "Yeah...I know that feeling."
- Nick: "For the last goddamn time: Lower the goddamn bridge, you goddamn vest-wearing grease monkey!"
Francis: "Go to hell, suit."
Rochelle: "Hey, boys! Okay, if we get to the other side, can you help us lower it?"
Francis: "Hell yeah, I'll help *YOU*."
Rochelle: "See Nick? You should try being nice sometime. THANK YOU!"
- [ To Francis in the Intro ] "Hey there, can you lower the bridge?"
Francis: "Would if I could. Can't. Come around to the other side and we can lower it together."
Rochelle: "Is the path even clear to the other side?"
Rochelle: "Then it's a date!"
- [ To Francis in the Intro ] "Lower the bridge and I'll tell you how old I am!"
- [ To Francis in the Intro ] "If you help us lower the bridge, I'll give you a kiss."
- "Coach, you know anything about this under-the-river tour?"
- Coach: "I don't know. Goes under the river." [Alternate Line] "Uhh...yeah, it's historic."
- Rochelle: "Well, okay... Good enough."
- [ Reacting to the bride Witch ] "You see? This is why I hate weddings."
- "This is one wedding where I don't mind being the bridesmaid."
- "Something old, something new, something about to rip your guts out..."
- "I don't know what she's crying about, but at least she got married..."
- [In Safe House] Coach: "All this runnin' around we been doing? Shit, I bet I lost, what, five pounds."
Rochelle: "Anyone who survives this shit is going to be in great shape!" / "You look good Coach!"
- "Ellis, honey...I've been thinking. Somewhere down the road do you mind if we trade up for a car with...say, working doors and a backseat?"
- [ Checking out Jukebox ] "Ugh. This jukebox sucks."
- Rochelle: "Do you really think we can trust that guy?"
Nick: "What's the matter sweetie, playing hard to get?"
Nick: "I saw the way you were looking at him."
Rochelle: "You're outta your mind!"
Nick: "He could be the one."
Rochelle: "Then again, he is better looking than you."
- Coach: "The city of Rayford: Used to have a boiled peanut festival here. Bunch of good memories."
Rochelle: "I have good memories too...of having never been to a boiled peanut festival."
- "Get into the pool hall."
Rochelle: "Motivated. Okay, we've got to get motivated. Hey Ellis, I hear there's a stock car museum in New Orleans."
Ellis: "Get outta here! All right!"
Rochelle: "Coach, we make it to New Orleans, there's a cheeseburger museum!"
Coach: "Oh. In my heart, I'm there already."
Rochelle: "Hey, Nick there's a-"
Nick: "Yeah-no, I'm good. I'm good."
- [ Crossing the plank between buildings ] "I am not looking down."
- "Hey Nick. Splash fight?"
- Nick: "Don't you dare."
- "Nick, there's a turd on your shoulder."
- "Hey Nick, this your suitcase?"
- "Why is it always water?"
- "Stay off the dirt. It's historical."
- "I hope Phase Two is as good as Phase One."
- "Maybe there's no zombies down there... Who am I kidding?"
- "Phase Two? Wait, Phase One was finished?"
- "Only in the south would this pass as a museum."
- "Five dollars well spent."
- "I never had so much fun learning."
- "That was almost as bad as the Seattle underground museum."
- "Phase Two is a lot more interesting than Phase One..."
- [ In response to Ellis finding a 'candy bar' ] "Oh Ellis! I'm not laughing! I'm not, I'm not laughing."
- "Hey, Nick, you've got something on your shoulder."
- [ Meeting L4D Survivors at finale ] Francis: "'Dee-Pec Mode'. Classy. Nice shirt, Rochelle."
Rochelle: "Thanks Francis. Nice vest."
Zoey: "Francis? Really? Tell me you're joking."
Francis: "What? Obviously she's a woman of taste."
Rochelle: "Yeah. Thanks, but in the meantime we should get to work on that generator..."
Zoey: "Uh, okay. You guys go down to the generator and get it working. I'm going to stay here and vomit."
- [ In the Safe Room before meeting up with the Survivors ]
Nick: "What'cha nervous about? You had your chance, you didn't do shit, and now, you get to watch Nick take care of buisness."
Rochelle: "Nick, as one of the last two women in the world, I can say half of the women in the world hate you."