NOTE: Beacuse Left 4 Dead 2 technically has no script just a random phrase or quote said now or then, this technically isn't a transcript, but a list of assorted quotes used only in that certain campaign.
The Waterfront Edit
- "Thanks, Virgil. You stay safe, brother."
- "We made it REAL damn far, people. I'm proud of you. Now let's just cross that last mile."
- "We BEEN through hell getting here. Now we're at the last mile. Let's make this COUNT."
- "They're still flying jets!"
- Coach: "Alright! military's still here!"
Nick: "Is that a good thing?"
The Park Edit
- [ After reading graffiti about CEDA ] "Where is CEDA? Zombified. [Alternate Line] "Good question. Where in the hell is CEDA? Cause I'd like to shoot some of their asses."
- "How does bein' so right feel, Nick?"
- "These ain't zombies. Somebody's been shootin' people."
- "I don't know shit. We gonna keep movin'."
- "Warning alarm will sound if door is opened upon clearance from tower."
- "Alarm's gonna sound when we open the door."
- "Through the bus station!"
The Cemetery Edit
- "Army abandoned this neighborhood."
- "Zombies didn't bring down that chopper."
- "There was some kinda war goin on out here."
- "Everyone into the sewer."
- "Nick! Good news - we're going down into this sewer."
- "Man Nick, you picked a bad day to wear your white suit."
- Nick: "Tell me about it..."
- "Alarms everywhere, people. Watch yourselves!"
- "WOULD YOU STOP SHOOTIN' THE GODDAMN CARS?!"
- [ When the jets blows up the freeway ] "MOTHERFU-"
- "Alright. Shit. Nobody panic. We gonna head down and find another way up onto the bridge."
The Quarter Edit
- "Man, they're lighting up this whole place. We gotta get to the bridge."
- "STOP BOMBING US."
- "Shit. Damn, that one was close!"
- "There's a safe room in it!"
The Bridge Edit
- [ Upon contacting the military via the radio on The Bridge ] Military: "Bridge, are you immune?"
- Coach: "We are NOT infected."
- Military: "Negative Bridge, are you IMMUNE? Have you encountered the Infected?"
- Coach: "Encountered? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke and eyeballs and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SHIT!"
- [ Upon reaching the beginning of The Bridge ] "Oh yeah...our goal is right next to the bridge! ON THE OTHER MOTHER EFFIN' SIDE OF THE WATER!"
- [ At the beginning of the bridge ] "Alrightalright. We gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
- Nick: "Or they're gonna line us up against the wall and shoot us."
- Coach: "Well you free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
- Nick: "Okay, alright, lets go."
- "Those sound like soldiers! Somebody talk to 'em."
- "Somebody pick up the radio."
- "We gotta lower that drawbridge."
- "You want to TEST me? I been through HELL to get to here! You are NOT the one to take me down!"
- "I walked through a WORLD OF SHIT to get here! I am not gonna die now! I am NOT gonna DIE NOW!"
- [ When seeing a riot zombie ]: "That zombie's got armor. I WANT ARMOR!"
- [ Reading the sign at the start of The Parish ] "Infected detected, no shit."
- [ Reading a sign, laughing ] "Form orderly line."
The Waterfront Edit
- "That Virgil is a goddamn hero, going back there when we are so close. Let's get to that bridge...for Virgil."
- "Jets. Jets mean people!"
- [ When sees an alarmed car ] "Ya'll better not shoot the car."
- [ Upon seeing the buses at the bus station ] "Did I ever tell you guys about the time my grandpa took me on a bus to Memphis to visit Graceland, and we--"
- Nick: "Ellis, Ellis! We don't have time for that right now!"
- Ellis: "Okay. But I do love goin' on bus rides."
[Alternate Line] "You ain't never been to Graceland, Nick? Man, y'all should've come, we had so much fun!" [Alternate line] "All right, Nick. But how about this: did ya know Graceland ain't nothin' but a little house in the ghetto."
- "I love camping, but this here don't look fun."
- "This here doesn't look like a fun campout."
The Park Edit
- [ When seeing the statue of Andrew Jackson ] "Man, I wish we had a horse right now. I loooove horses."
Nick: "Ever eaten horse? It's tasty."
- Ellis: "Who ain't right in the head now?"
[Alternate Line] "Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."
- Ellis: "Horse!"
- Nick: "Nice observation, Ellis."
The Cemetery Edit
- "Goddamn! Another one just went off!"
- [ If shooting an alarmed car in the impound lot ] "That was definitely not me."
- "I'll tell you what'd be real bad right now: a Tank."
- "Do you know why they bury them above ground?"
- "They bury them like this cause they're under sea level."
- "It's like a whole city of crypts."
- "It's a little city of graves."
- "Man, look at that helicopter."
- "Why'd you think it crashed?"
- "All these alarm cars, it's like a puzzle!"
- "WELL FINE THEN, THERE, I'LL SHOOT A DAMN CAR!"
- "Oh man, I hope we don't see no ghosts."
- Nick: "Ellis, you're carrying like ten different guns."
- Ellis: "You can't shoot a ghost, Nick. I mean, shit, it ain't rocket science, man."
- "I guess we're gonna visit that graveyard. It's kinda spooky."
- "I guess we're gonna have to visit that graveyard."
- "Whoa! That was cool and all, but shit!"
- "Well I guess we can't go that way."
- [ When going through The Cemetery ] "Man, if these were real zombies, going into this graveyard would be like death."
- "Don't trolls live under here?"
- "They're infected."
The Quarter Edit
- "Hey, Nick? They can't hear you, because they're in jet planes."
- [ When approaching toilets on Parish ] Coach: "Aww, man, stinks 'a piss..."
Ellis: "I dunno. Smells kinda nice."
- Coach: [Reading notice] "Report the sick..."
- Ellis: "Report the sick?"
- Rochelle: "Don't worry Ellis, they mean the flu, not in the head."
- [ After the Survivors have been dropped off by Virgil ] "Thanks, brotha'."
- [ The beginning of The Parish ] "I...have not...come this far...to die now."
- [ In response to Coach saying how close they are to the bridge ] "You mean that blurry line in the horizon? Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
- [ Alt ] "Yeah, well, seeing the bridge and getting there are two different things."
- [ When the fighter jets fly by at the beginning of The Parish ] Coach: "Alright! The military's still here!"
- Nick: "You don't evacuate people in fighter jets."
- [ Alt ] Coach: "They still flyin' jets!"
- Nick: "I wonder if that's a good thing."
- [ Response to Ellis's horse comment ] "Ever eaten horse? Tasty."
- Ellis: "Horses are for ridin', not eatin', Nick."
- [ Upon seeing the bathrooms in The Park ] "From the looks of this park, I'm glad we didn't arrive early."
- Nick: "Oh man it, smells awful in here." / "It smells like...piss."
- Ellis: "I think it smells kinda nice."
- Nick: "You're screwed up in the head, you know that?" [Alternate Line] "Goddammit, you are messed up."
- [ Upon seeing uninfected dead bodies ] "Jesus! These are people! They were shooting people! I told you I bad feeling about this."
- Coach: "How's it feel to be so right, Nick?"
- Nick: "Not good..."
- [ Before starting The Park's Crescendo Event ] "As soon as we open that door, get ready to run for the tower."
- Ellis: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait...why we goin' to the tower?"
- Nick: "We run to the tower, and we turn off the alarm!"
- Ellis: "Oh! Okay, okay, I get it!"
- Ellis : Wait we are going it together right?
- Nick : Of course we going it together.
- Nick : As soon as that door opens, get ready to run for the tower.
- Coach : Got to agree with that.
- [ Upon seeing the hash marks on the barricaded bedroom wall ] "Does this guy's scorecard mean what I think it means?"
- "Jesus, it was open season on everything out here."
- [ Upon entering the sewers ] "I am not going in the se-- Ah screw it! Let's go."
- "Oh Christ, not the sewer."
- "Ugh. What's that SMELL?"
- [ Upon taking a Nightstick from a dead Riot Cop ] "I used to steal these from cops back in high school."
- "If my friends ever saw me usin' a cop's gun..."
- [ Upon entering the impound lot ] "Whoawhoawhoawhoa watch where you shoot!"
- "If you wanna shoot cars, lets shoot cars!"
- "Careful, carrrefullll..."
- [ After reaching the freeway after the impound lot ] "We made it, I can't believe we actually made it!"
- [ Fighter jets blow up the freeway in front of him ] "OH COME ON!"
- [ In The Quarter's Safe Room, as bombs are being dropped ] "Christ, those guys are such assholes."
[Alt] "Well, it's official. They're trying to kill US now."
- [ In The Bridge's Safe Room ] Nick: "Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?"
- Ellis: "I don't." / Coach: "No."
- Nick: "Alright then, let's go."
- [ Alt ] Coach: "Alright, alright, alright. We're gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us."
- Nick: "Or, they're gonna line us up against the wall, and shoot us."
- Coach: "Well, you're free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick."
- Nick: "Okay, alright, let's go."
- [ Upon seeing The Parade ] Look, Ellis! A tractor.
- [ When seeing the "Where is CEDA? graffiti in The Park ] "Good question. Where is C.E.D.A.? I just see zombies... "
- [ When passing The Park bathrooms ] "Ugh. Whats that smell?"
- Ellis: "Smells nice, don't it?"
- Coach: "Smells like people been living here and shit."
- [ On being bombed by the military ] "WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!"
- "Something tells me they stopped checking for Survivors..."
- [ Seeing the Bridge ] "There's the bridge...you're sure they're going to be there?"