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NOTE: Beacuse Left 4 Dead 2 technically has no script just a random phrase or quote said now or then, this technically isn't a transcript, but a list of assorted quotes used only in that certain campaign.


Coach Edit

  • [ Reading the sign at the start of The Swamp ] "No CEDA, no military, stay out..."
  • [ When ferry arrives at the Swamp Fever ] "Put it all out there."
  • [ When the fishing boat arrives in The Plantation ] "*Repeatedly blows sports whistle*"
  • [ Upon seeing the Plane Wreckage ] "Nick, you sure you didn't kill this pilot too?"
  • "Better not be any goddamn instant mud people, just add water."
  • "Nick, we're goin into a swamp filled with zombies. Y'all want me to lie to ya?"
  • "I normally stay the hell away from swamps on principle. You remember that movie with that golfer that got his hand ate by a gator? That shit's real."
  • "Ellis, it's just a boat."

Ellis Edit

  • [ Start of the campaign ] "Nick, what the hell, you shot the pilot."
Nick: "Well he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
Ellis: "True true, he was a zombie but he was also our only pilot."
  • [ Start of the campaign ] "Oh man, that was some crazy shit! Nick, you are a man of ACTION!"
Nick: "I can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
  • [ While traveling on the cable ferry ] "Coach? Any inspirational words while we enter the swamp?"
Coach: "Though I walk, through the valley of the shadow of death..."
Ellis:' '''"Yeah! I'm walk'n in that valley'n I'm kick'n some ass!"
[Alternate Line] Okay, I didn't expect you to get all Biblical on me.
  • [ While traveling on the cable ferry ] "Man, if you ask me these swamp people got it all figured out. No cops, no rules..."
Rochelle: "No indoor plumbing."
Ellis: "They figured out how to stop going to the bathroom? That's AMAZING. Ohhhhh. No, wait. Oh, I just got that. Shit, that's gross as hell."
  • Rochelle: "Ellis? Does your tattoo mean anything?"
Ellis: "Oh, this here? That says I'm a badass zombie-killing machine."
Rochelle: [Sarcastically] "Wow. You must have amazing foresight to have gotten that."
  • Ellis: "Hey y'all be honest, are my muscles getting bigger?"
    Rochelle: "I don't know... Maybe?"

Ellis: "Yeah, I knew it! All this running around and climbing up on stuff is making me buff as hell."

  • [ When first seeing the plane ] "Well...at least we know where the Parachutist came from..."
  • [ Before the emergency door event starts at The Swamp ] "Somebody's gotta open this door."
  • "Oh yeah, I know plenty about swamps. Full of bugs and gators and snakes...and zombies now."
  • Ellis: "Listen up everybody. Be on the lookout for blood farmers. I'm serious."
Rochelle: Boy, what the hell are you talking about?
Ellis: "Duh? Farmers that don't grow crops; they grow PEOPLE, to EAT."
Nick: "Jesus Christ Ellis, like the goddamn zombies aren't bad enough."
  • "This one time, I was on a tour boat and they fed chickens to the gators."
  • "Hoohoo! Apocalypse, my ass! We're livin' in the best shooting range of ALL TIME!"
  • "Yeah. I mean not so much thinking about the gators as I'm wishing we had some BBQ chicken right now."
  • "Smells like a raccoon died in a diaper factory."
  • [ On ferry in the Plank Country ] "Hey, Nick? Did you know I used to have a suit just like yours once?"
Nick: "Pfft." / "Oh, really?"
Ellis: "Yeah. First communion in second grade. Don't think it fits anymore."
Coach: "Hoho, yeah boy! Look at you, givin' Nick some shit right back!" / "Nick, just ignore the boy."


Nick Edit

  • [ In response to Ellis's reaction to him killing the pilot ] "Well he wasn't doing a very good job once he became a zombie, now was he?"
  • "I shot a zombie. He was a zombie, Ellis. He must have gotten bitten before he picked us up."
Rochelle: "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and...attacked us. Anyone know where we are?"
  • "I still can't believe none of you were going to shoot him."
  • [ In response to Ellis talking about the blood farmers ] "Jesus Christ Ellis, like the goddamn zombies aren't bad enough."
  • [ When jumping into deep water in Swamp Fever ] Nick: "Shit! All this swamp is gonna ruin my white suit!"
Rochelle: "[Laughs] You mean the one with zombie brains all over it? That one?"
Nick: "Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that."

Rochelle: "So what do you think is going to kill us? Gators, snakes, bugs, or mud people?

Nick: You're forgetting one thing - from the way we're shooting? Each other."
  • [ When crossing the river in Plank Country ] Rochelle: "Nick, what do you think the odds are that the swamp people are still alive?"
Nick: "What alive and Infected, or alive and not zombies?"
Rochelle: "Not zombies."
Nick: "100 to 1."
Rochelle: "Sound about right."


Rochelle Edit

  • [ Continuing Coach's phrase at the start of Swamp Fever ] "When they say stay out, I'm sure they meant someone else."
  • [ Agreeing with Nick's shooting of the pilot ] "That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it would probably be when he stopped flying the chopper and...attacked us. Anyone know where we are?"
  • [ Reaching the ferry ] "It looks like they've all left...and gone deeper into the swamp. Well, great. "
  • "Earl's gator village? This just keeps getting better..."
  • [ When ferry arrives at the Swamp Fever ] "Everyone, on the ferry!"
  • [ On the ferry ] "Ellis, does that tattoo mean anything?"
Ellis: "Oh, this here? It means I'm a badass zombie killin' machine."
Rochelle: "Wow. You must have amazing foresight to get that."
  • "So Nick, what do you think the chances are the swamp people are still alive?"
Nick: "What, alive and Infected, or alive and not zombies?"
Rochelle: "Not zombies."
Nick: "100 to 1."
Rochelle: "Sounds about right."
  • [ Responding to Ellis about the blood farmers ] "Blood farmers? Boy, what in the hell are you talking about?"
  • [ Reading the 'No Swimming' sign at the ferry ] "You're telling me they actually had to post a sign to keep people from swimming in the gator pool? Alright..."
  • "No swimming in the Gator Park. Good to know!"
  • [ Reaching the Drainage Pipe Safe Room ] "That's an encouraging sign. There's still power!"
  • [ Stepping into the swamp ] "Ooookay, this is creepy. "
  • [ Wandering in the swamp ] "I am sick to death of this mud."
  • "Good thing I'm wearing boots..."
  • "Okay. Enough of the mud already!"
  • "My feet are never going to dry..."
  • [ Searching the Shanty Town for supplies ] "If anybody could survive this...it would be people, who live like this..."
  • [ Observing the Plane Wreckage ] " Zombies hit mid-flight I guess..."
  • "Holy shit... A downed plane!"
  • [ At the emergency door of a fallen plane at the Crash Site ] "You're kidding me. The only way forward is through an emergency door?"
  • [ Opening the Airplane Hatch ] "I've always wanted to do this."
  • [ In the Swamp People's Safe House ] "Goddammit, the swamp people are zombies. Oh, zombie swamp people, I'm sorry...I gotta shoot you."
  • "Oh shit, they didn't make it..."
  • "Hey Ellis. A bathtub...heard of one before?"
  • [ Observing the pile of dead animal carcasses ] "We had heard reports that the infection might spread through mammals, but..."
Ellis: "So they just killed them all?
Rochelle: "Better safe than sorry I guess..."

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