NOTE: Beacuse Left 4 Dead technically has no script just a random phrase or quote said now or then, this technically isn't a transcript, but a list of assorted quotes used only in that certain campaign.
- "Ah hell, I think we gotta go through this tunnel."
- [ Speaking to the Church Guy ] "Son, we're immune, we're tired, and there's infected in the damn woods, now cut out the shit and let us in!"
- "We're as human as they come, son, I promise ya!"
- [ When Francis calls him 'feeble old man' ] "Hey!" (Indignant)
- [ When Church Guy starts ringing the bell ] "This guy is nuttier than candy bar shit."
- "I don't believe this shit, we're arguing for our lives here with a damn mental moron!"
- [ Rescue arrives ] "That's the boat, time to bug out!"
- [ Rescue arrives ] "Alright the boat's here, let's go!"
- [ Rescue ready ] "Run to the boat!"
- [ Rescue ready ] "Get to the boat!"
- [ Rescue ready ] "To the boat; MOVE!"
- [ Rescue ready ] "Haul ass to that boat; RUN!"
- [ When entering the tunnel ] "Fantastic. A tunnel."
- Bill: "Don't be an ass, Francis."
- [ Noticing a sign warning of deer crossing at The Turnpike ] "Uh-oh, watch out! Deer around here."
- [ To Church Guy ] "We're cops! Open up!"
- "Man, I don't think that cop thing worked..."
- "Let's see, I'm Francis, that's Grandpa Bill, and there's zombies out here! Open the goddamn door!"
- Francis: "Have a heart, we got a helpless old man with us!"
- Bill: "Hey!"
- "I'm gonna tear that bell down and shove it up your ass!"
- "Everyone but us is either a zombie or an asshole."
- "Listen candy pants, we can make you open that goddamn door."
- "If we live through this, I'm gonna frickin' KILL that guy!"
- [ After Louis has stated that Riverside is a bust, and they should get to the river ]
- Francis: "That's better than my plan."
- Bill: "What was that?"
- Francis: "I didn't have one."
- [ When answering the radio in Death Toll ] "Attention boat owners! We are, uh, the cops! I command you to pick us up!"
- [ During "Church Guy" Scene ] "Mister, if one of us gets killed out here, I'm gonna shoot my way in there and beat you to death with my gun!"
- "Sir, PLEASE! We're not infected!"
- "If you ignore the crazy guy and the zombies, nice town."
- "This must be the sewer drainage pipes"
Francis: "How the hell do you know that?"
Louis: '"Interesting true story: In 1975, the local township d-"
Francis: "You know what? I just found out I don't care!"
- [ After she or another Survivor has mentioned that Riverside held out ] "Unless anyone has a better plan, I say we head there."
- "And of course the bridge is out..."
- [ When the bridge in The Drains is down ] "We're good to go, come on!"
- [ Approaching the empty house in The Church chapter ] "Oh, nice, a cabin in the middle of nowhere. I know how this movie ends."
- [ When speaking to the Church Guy ] "What a dick..."
- "You're not gonna just open the door? Really?!"
- "Not a fan of creepy old train yards."
- "The town's pretty quiet...I hope that means they killed all the zombies..."
- "You know we can MAKE YOU open that door."
- "Hey jerk-ass! Why don't you just open the goddamn door?!"
- [ In Riverside ] "I always liked this main street."